So Felon Coin. Right. Another day, another absurd token popping up on my radar because someone slid into my DMs asking if it\’s \”the next big thing\” or just another way to set their money on fire. Honestly? Feels like 2021 all over again, but with less euphoria and more… resignation. Like watching a rerun of a show where you already know everyone dies in the end. You still watch, maybe hoping this time it’ll be different, but deep down? Nah.
Heard about Felon Coin a few weeks back. Not from some glossy crypto news site – nah, it was in this sketchy Telegram channel I lurk in, mostly for the morbid curiosity. The pitch was something like, \”Embrace the outlaw spirit!\” or \”Profit from the chaos!\” accompanied by memes of guys in striped prison uniforms mooning. Real subtle. Felt less like an investment thesis and more like a dare. Or maybe a trap. Remember Squid Game token? Yeah. That taste of ashes in your mouth? Lingers.
What is it? Technically? Another meme coin. Built on… probably Binance Smart Chain, maybe Solana? Honestly, the whitepaper – if you can call a PDF slapped together in Canva that – was about as enlightening as mud. No groundbreaking tech. No revolutionary use case. Just vibes. Bad vibes. The whole shtick revolves around this \”felon\” identity. Transactions are \”heists.\” Holding is \”doing time.\” The website looks like it was designed by someone who thinks Guy Fawkes masks are peak philosophy. It’s deliberately rough, offensive even, playing into this cartoonish criminality. Feels less like a currency and more like an inside joke you wouldn\’t want to explain at a family dinner.
Why does it exist? Who launched it? Ghosts. Anonymous devs, naturally. A wallet address that probably leads nowhere useful. The liquidity pool? Locked? Maybe. For how long? Who knows. The classic meme coin playbook: generate hype through shock value and online trolling, get listed on some DEX aggregator that doesn’t ask too many questions, watch the chart do that insane vertical green candle thing fueled purely by FOMO and people chasing a quick 10x… and then? Well. Then comes the part where the music stops. Or someone pulls the rug. Feels inevitable. Saw it with dozens of these things. You watch the Telegram group, full of manic energy one day – \”TO THE MOON! LFG! DIAMOND HANDS!\” – and then crickets. Just… silence. And a chart that looks like a cliff face.
Buying it? Sighs, rubs temples. Look, I can tell you how, but I feel ethically grimy even typing this out. It’s like explaining how to juggle live grenades. You can, but you really, really shouldn’t. And if you ignore me and do it anyway? For the love of whatever you hold sacred, don\’t put in rent money. Don\’t put in grocery money. Put in the money you\’d be okay lighting on fire for a laugh at a bonfire. Seriously. That level.
Alright, mechanical steps, because someone’s gonna google this anyway. You’ll need crypto to swap for it, obviously. Probably BNB or SOL, depending on where it lives. Send that to a self-custody wallet like MetaMask or Phantom. Not your keys, not your coins – especially true for this garbage. Then you head to a decentralized exchange (DEX) – PancakeSwap if it\’s BSC, Raydium/Jupiter if it\’s Solana. Find the Felon Coin contract address. This is where it gets super sketchy. You cannot trust some random link tweeted by \”FelonCoinOfficial.\” Go to their website? Fine. But double, triple-check that contract address against multiple sources, if you can even find multiple sources. One typo, and you\’re sending your BNB to a burn address or some scammer’s pocket. Poof. Gone. Forever. Happens constantly.
Paste the correct contract address into the swap interface. See the price impact warning? It\’ll probably be insane, like 20% or more. That\’s the liquidity problem. Tiny pool. Your swap itself moves the price massively. Slippage tolerance? You\’ll need to crank it way up, maybe 15-20%, just for the swap to even go through, because the price is bouncing around like a meth-addled kangaroo. This means you might pay significantly more per token than you thought. Confirm the swap. Pay the gas fee. And… congrats? You now own \”Felons.\” Tokens that represent… a meme about crime. Sitting in your wallet. Worth… whatever the next sucker decides to pay. Feels less like an asset and more like holding a used lottery ticket.
Keeping it \”safe\”? Ha. The coin itself isn\’t safe. The concept isn\’t safe. But technically? Your wallet security is paramount. Hardware wallet if you have one. Seed phrase offline, never digital, never shared. Enable all security features. Because guess who loves targeting holders of meme coins like this? Every damn scammer and phishing bot on the planet. They see it in your public wallet address history. You become a blinking neon target. Got a DM offering \”Felon Coin staking with 1000% APY\”? Delete it. Immediately. See an airdrop claim link? It\’s poison. Your coins are safest… well, they\’re not safe, but safer… just sitting untouched. Don\’t connect your wallet to any site promising Felon utilities or games. There won\’t be any. It\’s a mirage.
Why am I so jaded? Because I’ve been there. Not with Felon specifically, but others. Back in the day, got swept up in the hype of some dog-themed nonsense. Put in a few hundred bucks – \”play money,\” I said. Watched it double. Tripled. Felt like a genius. Didn\’t take profits, because \”diamond hands,\” right? Then the dev wallets dumped. The chart didn\’t just dip; it nosedived straight into the Mariana Trench. My \”play money\” became \”lost money.\” Lesson learned? Expensively. These things aren\’t investments. They\’re gambling chips in a rigged casino where the house always wins. The devs, the pre-sale whales, the pump-and-dump groups – they win. The retail folks scrolling Twitter at 2 AM? We\’re the fuel.
Watching the Felon Coin community is… something else. It\’s a mix of true believers who genuinely buy the \”stick it to the man\” schtick (ignoring that the \’man\’ is often the anonymous dev about to rug them), desperate moonboys hoping for a miracle, and cynical degens treating it like a high-speed roulette spin. The cognitive dissonance is thick. They\’ll post memes celebrating the \”crime\” while simultaneously begging the devs on Telegram for reassurance when the price tanks 50% in an hour. It\’s equal parts fascinating and deeply depressing. Feels like watching people cheer on their own con artists.
So, is there a scenario where this makes sense? Maybe. If you have a hundred bucks you genuinely don\’t care about vanishing, and you treat the entire experience like buying a ticket to a bizarre, potentially traumatic circus performance? Sure. Go in eyes wide open. Know it’s 99.99% likely a loss. Feel that adrenaline rush when it pumps. Feel the gut punch when it dumps. Learn the visceral lesson about liquidity, hype, and the dark underbelly of unregulated crypto. It\’s an expensive education, but sometimes that sticks better than reading some dry blog post like this one.
Would I buy Felon Coin now? Laughs, a dry, humorless sound. After everything I just wrote? After seeing the pattern repeat ad nauseam? Hell no. My tolerance for that kind of self-inflicted pain wore thin around the third rug pull I witnessed. My crypto focus these days is boring. Dull, even. Established projects with actual tech, real teams (doxxed ones!), and use cases beyond memes and gambling. Does it mean I miss the occasional moonshot? Absolutely. But I also sleep better. And my wallet doesn\’t have that constant, low-grade tremor of anxiety anymore. Some thrills just aren\’t worth the cost.
Seeing Felon Coin pop up feels like a symptom. A sign that despite the bear market, despite the carnage, the same destructive impulses are still there. The greed, the FOMO, the desire to get rich quick without the effort. It’s human nature, I guess. Exploited relentlessly in this space. Makes me tired. Weary. Sometimes I think the real innovation in crypto isn\’t the blockchain tech, but finding increasingly elaborate ways to separate fools from their money. Felon Coin? Just the latest, slightly more offensive, iteration of an old, sad song.
English